Your little one is hitting you!
I have not met one parent who is NOT triggered by being hit. And I mean yes, I get it, who wants to be hit, especially by our little one. So many triggers are going off in the moment:
He is aggressive
He doesn't respect me
What if had have hurt me?
What would others think if they'd see this behavior?
I am failing as a parent!
Here is the thing, there are 2 main reasons why our kids sucker punch us.
1. They are super young and are looking for ways to connect and get a reaction out of us ANY reaction!
2. Our older kids are lead by their impulses and have no idea how to articulate their emotions, their brain is full on emotional mode. Everytime your child hits you when they are upset, they are trying to get rid of that feeling, that they just cant quite explain yet.
Here is what we can do. Self-regulate, Teach and explain.
Little ones hitting not in rage and frustration need to get taught what they can do instead of what they can't
1. Oh, we don't hit love. you can go like this (use their hand slowly and calm to show them how they can touch your face gently)
A frustrated child is one that can't not articulate its feelings. Do it for them by connecting. These 2 phrases are some that I use on the DAILY! (yeah Toddlers tend to lose it ALOT!)
1. "What happened?" that gives them a moment of pause, all while still crying. Give time for them to process and to respond. If they can't respond for them "I see you didn't want me to...."
2. "Hoe do you feel?" This will help them eventually develop emotional intelligence of understanding and naming their own feelings. It will take time for them to understand the meaning behind their emotions. If they can't explain what you see: "It seems like you are frustrated because...."
After this interaction and Connection I set a boundary as simple and calm, loving but firm as that:
"I can't let you hit me."
And all this over and over again. Because kids will learn through repetition.
What do you feel when your kid hit you?
