Did you know that some consequences can help your child understand their behavior more than others?

Natural consequences are the result of a behavior without any interference of an adult. They happen, well quite naturally, for example:

When you stand in the rain, you will get wet.

When you don't eat, you will be hungry.

And so on, this form of consequences is used a lot of times in the extreme gentle parenting field. And it can be very impactful for our children to learn through natural results of their behavior. The issue I believe is that the child's developmental stage has to be considered, always.

Logical consequences allow you to discipline your child in a loving, calm and understanding way. You can set boundaries, that lead to consequences:

When you throw a toy, -I- take it away.

When you throw food, -I- take the plate away. (A BIG sign that they might be full!)

Natural and logical consequences will help your child understand the reason why the particular behavior was not “the way to go”, because of the disciplining we do through those consequences, it's like an “aha-moment”. Because the consequences are actually related to the behavior without affecting our relationship.

Imposed consequences on the other hand, help THE BEST in the moment, yup yet read that right, it’s the QUICK FIX that our dysregulated self is looking for. BUT it doesn't help in the long run. An imposed consequence is considered as punishment and is unrelated to the actual behavior:

When you hit your sibling, no TV for a week.

You didn't clean your room, no ice cream for you.

The issue with imposed consequences actually doesn't teach our children anything about what has happened. It doesn't help our children understand the actual problem, nor how to change it.

But are sometimes a necessary action to keep our children safe.

x Joline